Funny

What does a boomerang say when it comes back?

  • Ouch, that hurt!
  • Hello there!
  • I'm going again!
  • What flight time!

What is a bird that is always late?

  • The dawdling crow
  • The tardy bird
  • The night owl
  • The sleepy goose

What does a vegan do when it's cold?

  • Stay indoors and complain
  • Warm up with soup
  • Roll up in a cabbage
  • Enjoy warm salads

What kind of music does a mummy play?

  • Wrap music
  • Creepy rock
  • Pharaonic funk
  • Sarcastic symphonies

What is the most common excuse for being late?

  • Traffic
  • Bad weather
  • Alarm clock issues
  • Forgotten lunch

What does a pair of scissors say when it encounters a comb?

  • I'll cut it out!
  • Oops, sorry!
  • Don't comb me!
  • I'm sharp today!

Why can't toads cheat?

  • Because they always jump honestly
  • Because they don't have hands
  • Because they have a frog's perspective
  • Because they always croak

What is a ship that never sinks?

  • A stainless steel ship
  • A wooden raft
  • A cruise with jokes
  • A hot air balloon

Why was the math teacher happy with himself?

  • Because he solved a good problem
  • Because he stood squarely behind his decision
  • Because he's always positive
  • Because he had no problems

What does a plant say when you water it?

  • Thanks, I was thirsty!
  • Stop making me wet!
  • I root for you!
  • Why are you doing this?

What kind of potato is always up for a party?

  • A disco potato
  • A party potato
  • A chips potato
  • A french fry party potato

Which magician/illusionist is always on time?

  • Hans Klok

What does a baby computer say to its mother?

  • Bit, bit!
  • Mom.exe
  • I love you, 01010101
  • Ctrl + Alt + Del

What is the most used emoji in the group chat?

  • 😂
  • 😊
  • 👍
  • 🤔

What is a computer scientist's favorite fruit?

  • Banana-ry
  • Apple
  • Pear-ogram
  • C-sharp

Which planet is edible?

  • Mars

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?

  • Flipper
  • Ocean's Eleven
  • The Little Mermaid
  • Whale of Fortune

Why can't any of the fish play the piano?

  • They have no fingers
  • They have no fin-notes
  • They have no sense of tuna
  • They don't like music

Why are spiders excellent web developers?

  • They have a good sense of design
  • They are highly skilled in programming
  • They are experts in catching bugs
  • They have eight legs to type quickly

What does a chimney do when it's cold?

  • It smokes a fire
  • It gives smoke signals
  • It coughs up soot balls
  • It uses nose spray

Why can't secret agents play hide and seek well?

  • They can't maintain their cover
  • They always leave a briefing behind
  • They always have a license to be found
  • They don't want to go undercover

What is a dentist's favorite craft project?

  • Tooth sculptures
  • Floss art
  • Toothpick architecture
  • Enamel painting

A cowboy enters the town on a horse on Friday and leaves two days later, also on Friday. How is that possible?

  • The horse's name is Friday

Why did the bicycle go to the gym?

  • To pump up its tires
  • To stay in shape
  • For a spinning class
  • To step it up a gear